U be hatin’

You know, sometimes you run into weird shit without even trying. This happened to me a couple of weeks ago, and I am still scratching my head over it.

I had called over to the local workforce and asked them to post that I was seeking a skilled trim carpenter. Please note the word skilled. I got a call a couple of days after that, a fellow asking about the job, and the pay. Note to potential employees………..I do NOT speak ebonics. Use proper english when speaking with a prospective employer. That was his first mistake. His second mistake was playing the race card when I discovered that he did not possess the skill set I was looking for. He wasn’t a trim carpenter, hell, he wasn’t a carpenter at all. Not even a rough framer. He just saw my posted position and thought I would hire him with no questions asked. After quickly figuring out he was wasting his time, and mine, I told him that he did not fit the job I had. This fellow told me I was discriminating against him because “he be black and gay”. Right. I don’t think so. First of all, I don’t give a shit what color you are as long as you can do the job, and I REALLY don’t care what your sexual orientation is, since I have no ambitions to sleep with you. However, since he seems to think I am one to discriminate, let’s take a look at some of the misfits that work with me on a regular, and not so regular basis.

Cam – I think this one is the oddest of my weird collection of part time employees. He’s a rough framer, and a damn good one. He also seems to have a vamp fetish, and judging by his appearance on the rare Monday’s that I have had him working, I would say they must play pretty rough. I couldn’t care less, but I do NOT want to know.

Jimmy – Backhoe operator and pipe laydown. Flaming queen. They just don’t get any more “out there” than he is. I don’t care. He can shave a gnats ass with that backhoe bucket, and he doesn’t harass my straight workers (it freaks them out, I laugh my ass off, but it’s not allowed). He shows up with makeup on his face occasionally, he looks good with it.

Franklin – Carpet layer and ex-con. Too many felony convictions (all non-violent) and tattoo’s to count. Also pierced in a multitude of weird places (no, I did NOT ask). Don’t care. He can lay carpet faster than anyone I know. I wouldn’t trust him with my daughter, if I had one, but that has more to do with his behavior than his history.

I have an entire crew of concrete workers that are just WEIRD. I don’t care. They do the job, I don’t have to live with them. One of them is a practicing Furry. Don’t ask me, Google it. And yes, I know what type of fetish it is, don’t care.

The point is, each one of those folks listed above would be considered either weird or dangerous, or both, in “normal” society. I don’t care. It makes no difference to me what they do on the weekends and in their off hours, as long as it doesn’t affect me. My rules are pretty simple…….no drinking on the job, no drugs ever (I do drug test), don’t show up late or strung out. If you are gay, pink with purple polkadots, tattooed, or just plain weird, I really don’t care. Show up and do your job. Do not hassle or frighten my customers, be respectful, and we will all get along. And you know what is strange? They follow those rules to a “T”. Yes ma’am and no sir to the customers, “whatcha need boss” to me. They are fiercely loyal to me and the other employees. Jimmy occasionally will freak the other guys out by flirting with them, but we all get a laugh out of it and no one takes offense. Even when Cam shows up with bite marks and bruises. It takes all kinds to get along in this world. I do have “normal” people that work with me too, but they aren’t nearly as interesting as the oddballs. Looking through my rolodex…………nope, not hatin’ here. Of course, what is really scary………I fit right in.

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