Cleanup on Aisle 1

A dead possum, a live skunk, a very lively armadillo and a dead something that I couldn’t identify. What do these things have in common? Well, combined with a pile of human excrement the size of a small car…………….they were all associated with my last job. This one ranks as number two on my list of nastiest jobs…………ever. The dead things only added to the miasma under the house, the live skunk caused a bit of excitement, at least until he decided that if we weren’t leaving, then he was (thank goodness, the other alternative would have been………..really bad. Don’t ask me how I know this, I just do). The armadillo just almost gave me a heart attack. Goofy armor plated beasts. This one decided to panic and take off running, as they are prone to do. Only he ran right over the top of my back as I was working. I damn near knocked myself out on the floor joist, since I had no idea just exactly *what* was after me. They have very poor eyesight, so I am sure he (it? who cares) had no idea what he had just run over either. One thing they are not, is dangerous. Unless they cause you to whack your head on something.

Of course, the hilarity was not over. When the dillo decided the time had come to exit the crawlspace, the fellow who works for me (Bill), was just entering the crawlspace, only to be met full force in the face by said rocket powered dillo. Much cussing ensued, and I about choked from laughing. You have to take humor where you can find it, particularly when you are under a house that smells so bad you want a hazmat suit.

The homeowner asked me if I removed the dead animals while we were under there working. Nowhere on my business card does it list carcass removal, so the answer is NO. Dead animals or not, the sewer lines are fixed, so no more backed up toilets. They are now turd-be-gones, and I hope I never have to go under there again.

One of these days I will tell the story of the nastiest job ever. I had nightmares about that one.

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